Suburban Key Party: A Citizen’s Guide to the PTA

Ever Wonder what really happens at PTA meetings?  We did too…and we were shocked to find out the the truth….so obviously we wrote a song about it:




I want to go home

Where I’m needed

One is dead

And one is bleeding


Found an ad in the paper

It said gather your neighbors

You can use a safeword

Don’t eat before cause it’s catered

Welcome to the party, There’s a fish bowl drop your keys in

There’s no reason for this swing, Love to do it, lots of cleaning

Grab a partner

Grab a rubber

Get to know your brand new lover

Romans did it

Hippies did it

Jesus did it

Sike, I’m kidding

Meet your neighbors, see them shine

Sweaty action, Damn she’s fine

Who brought her I need to know

She’s with Jim and she’s a ho

Just say the word fidilio

I’m in this bitch, don’t tell me though

Take my time, won’t blow my load

I found my Queen in my zip code 


Suburban Key Party is the place to be

Discretely fucking neighbors spreading HPV



Am I staying? Am I leaving?

Room is bright I’m barely breathing?

About to ask “what was I thinking?”

Fish my keys and get to slinking

I look over “Oh My God”

About to draft him for my squad

No masks here to hide behind

Swinger party time to grind

She’s got the lock, I’ve got the key

So glad it fits, Lucky me

Hit the room, set the mmod

Where’s the smalltalk, don’t be rude!

Listen Rookie, Just relax.

Maybe if you rub my back

Heated oil on demand.

You’ll be putty in my hands


Suburban Key Party is the place to be

Discretely fucking neighbors spreading HPV



Watch said 9 I was right on time

Case full of rubbers and a bottle of wine

Door wide open I walked right in

Took off my clothes so we could begin.

Took my hoodie off, but left my crocs on

Hit the buffet and crushed some wontons

Belly full of food and my cock in flight

Walked down the hall hit the door on right

My neighbors Jan and Pete they were waiting inside

All 3 of our crotches were about to collide

My neighbor in her mouth and I’m in her flower

High 5 in the air like the Eiffel Tower

I braced myself for a Rusty Trombone

She blew in my ass while she tugged on my bone

I shot on Jan’s face and I blew on Pete’s beard

We’re all in PTA so it’s gonna get weird!

I won’t tell if you wont tell


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